realistically cynical

if only airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars. then i could/would:

maybe be happier cos it’s so damn easy to wish a wish.

perhaps be less skeptical.

make the world a better place to live in.

AH the cynicism of this space. i swear i could drown in a pool of cynical remarks. if only. if only.

if i missed him too much, i might get too attached.

sometimes the more someone emphasizes on a particular topic, the more he doesn’t mean it.

my eye stings. my head spins and my heart hurts. looking at the past just makes my insides turn. insomniac in the house. i guess i won’t sleep tonight.if i thought it would be different this time round, i might be wrong.

i’ve said goodbye to many things, many people in these recent years. i said goodbye to someone i thought i’d be with for a very long time. I said goodbye to lives i could have impacted. goodbye to a lifestyle i could have regretted. i said goodbye to friends i love dearly. as i type and think, i realise i use what-ifs/could-haves a lot. what if i did things differently? what if i hung on? several pictures ran through my head and i thought i must have gone crazy if i continued. i should get over the past. but what if the past refuses to leave me alone? what if i don’t feel like saying goodbye?

then i learnt, if  i had been more thankful for what i had, things might have turned out differently. then again, should i be held solely responsible for all that’s happened? some people think i’m cynical. i don’t believe, i cannot trust. i think too much, i don’t deny. in fact, i can’t stop thinking, i keep questioning. in yet another way, i believe i’m a realist. it is only because i think, i come to a realistic conclusion all the time. i think realistically. i analyze and i don’t want to regret. is there any wrong in that?

this is the bad thing about staying up too late. it messes up with my sanity. speaking of which, has long left me.

busy bee. busy bee.

i used to speak without thinking of the consequences, think too much,  dwell on useless matters.

but we all learn.

we cannot have dinner because i know what i want. and it’s not you. IF YOU CANNOT ACCEPT MY FLAWS THEN YOU DON’T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST. i’ll never talk again/never write again/sing along. i guess. so long to you.

So baby raise a glass to mend

All the broken hearts

Of all my wrecked up friends
but i didn’t give two damns. with my focus on the goal, the only thing on my mind is to run towards it. why do you expect total conformity? this, shows us clearly we belong to two different worlds. sweetheart, find someone you can change. i’m sorry i’m not the one. perhaps the case of wrong identity.

when you’re clearing work on a sunday that YOU HAVE NOTHING besides work.

the joys of being on the top comes with this funny feeling in the tummy. makes me wanna regurgitate sometimes. I WANT TO FLY AWAY!!!

count yourself lucky if you don’t meet jerks on the way to prince charming.

ah shyt. i hate cold offices that leave me with frozen fingertips. i shall while my time away!

all i have to say is i need a break from this UNFORGIVING WORLD!

i can do all you say and smile when you ask me to. i will go where you want me to but i won’t be ME anymore. so just let me be me and that will be all. sometimes you think you know it all but the sad thing is you know nuts.

can you take a step back and view the situation from my angle? stop assuming and start observing. assumptions never got anyone where.

I HATE BIG EYES.

I HATE BIG EYES.

I HATE BIG EYES.

I HATE BIG EYES.

I HATE BIG EYES.

I HATE BIG EYES.

men have a way of lying their way through.